Monday 26 March 2012

GALAT KAMM

Teacher: Baccho, Dasso Jehde Loki Galat Kamm Karde Ne,
Oh Kithe Jande Ne??
Ik Kudi Boli Sharmande Hoye: Madam Sehar De Loki Hotel Te,
Te Pendu Loki Motor Te… :P

KUDI PURSE GHAR BHULL AAYI

Kudi Apne Boyfriend Nu Boli, Main Apna Purse Ghar Bhull Aayi Haan,
Te Yaar Mainu 1000 Rupye Di Jarurat Pai Gayi…
Munda: Karti Ni Chhoti Gall, Main Haiga.
Eh Fad 10 Rupye, Te Karke Ricksaw, Nash Ke Gharon Di Apna Purse Chak Lya…

PUNJABI STUDENT TO TEACHER

Teacher to Student: Sanu Murgi Ki Dendi Ae?
Punjabi Student: Mam Pata Ni…
Teacher Again: Aapne Desh da “father of nation” kaun ae?
Punjabi Student: Mam Pata Ni…
Teacher: Saanu Vaddo Vadd Kini Speed Te Drive Karni Chahidi Ae?
Punjabi Student: Pata Ni…
Teacher: Chal kal yaad karke aayi, ok?
Next day at school teacher chalo sunao ki yaad karke aya?
Punjabi Student: Mam, Mahatama Gandhi Ji Sanu 90 di speed limit te Eggs dinde ne.

INTERNET SE DOWNLOAD

Wife to Husband: Tumhe Pyar Karna Nahi Aata.
Husband: To Kya Ye Bachhe Internet Se Download Kiye Hain???
Wife: Nahi Eh Tan Singh Sahab De Pen Drive To Litte Ne.

W – MOST DANGEROUS ALPHABET

Sir: Which is the most dangerous alphabet?
Sharma: Ji, ‘W’.
Becouse all “Worries” start from W.
Top Examples:
Who.
What.
Why.
When
Whom.
Where.
War.
Wine.
Whisky.
Woman.
And finally…
Wife (Worries Invited For Ever.)

KASH MAIN MOBILE HUNDA

Kudi Bust Stop Te Khadi, Mobile Te Gallan Kar Rahi Si,
Boy ohnu Comment karda hai: Haye! Kash main mobile hunda, teriyan Gaallan (chicks) naal lagya hunda…
Kudi: Haan, fer main ghar jaa ke charger teri *$%*& ch laundi:P

NAIN-MATAKKA

Custmer: teri majh di 1 akh ta khrab hai, fer v tu isde 25 hzar rupye mang
reha hai.
Santa: tenu majh dudh peen layi chahidi hai ya nain-matakka karn
layi…

ANNA HAZZARE

Santa: oye tenu pta hai sarkaar ne chaar aane band kar dite hai?
Banta: o kyun santa oye sarkaar kolo ek anna (hazzare) nhi sambhalya jaa
rhea te o chaar aane kivein sambhalegi

RABB NE TIWI NU

Rabb ne tiwi nu sunder banaya
Khoobsurat dimaag vi diya
Hirni jehi aakhan deyi
Gulab jehe honth
Pyar bharya dil ditta
Te fer Jubaan deke sab te pani fer ditta…

EK AMLI TE EK JANANI

Ek Amli Te Ek Janani Bus Ch Chadh De Han
Bus Puri Tra Full Hundi A Amli Aapne Nal Bhang Le Ke Aaya C Te Janani Ik Bag.
Bus Full Hon Karke Oh Bhang Te Bag Taki Kol Rakh Dende Han.
Conductor Aanda Hai, Te Amli Nu Kehenda Hai, “Oye Eh Bhang-Phosdha Keehda Aa”.
Amli Jabab Denda Hai, Jee Bhang Ta Meri A Phosdha Eh Bibi Da Wa....

KAALE RANG DA MASTER

Ikk Bohta Kale Rang Da Master Ik Jattan De Jawak Nu Bolya, Main Kal Eh Padhaya Si Ke,
Sadda Shareer Kis-Kis Cheez Naal Banya Hunda Hai?
Chal Hun Tu Dass?
Jawak: Ik Pani Ton, Ik Hawa Ton, Te Ik….
Jawak Master Nu Ik Maar Dekhan Lag Gya,
Master: Te Hor Kis Cheez Naal???
Jawak: Ik Tarkol Naal…

BACCHE DO HI ACCHE

Ik Tiwi Apne 6 Baccheya De Naal Rail Vich Sawar Hoyi,
Sammne Ik Budda Bidi Pee Reha Si,
Bidi Naal Tiwi Disturb Ho Ke Boli, Please Cigrate Peena Band Kar Do,
Apne Samne Nahi Padh Sakde, Bidi-Cigrate Peena Mana Hai!
Budha: Madam, Main Tan Padh Lawanga, Pehlan Tu Taan Padh Lai Apne Saamne,
Board Te Likhya Hai, Bacche Do Hi Acche

AALU BHINDI SMS JOKE

1 Aalu Ne Bhindi K Number Pe I Love U Ka Msg Beja,
Bhindi Ne Use Phone Kar K Bura Bhala Kaha Aur Boli,
Shut Up, Tum Itne Mote Aur Main Slim And Smart,
Aalu Ko Bahut Dukh Hua Aur Us Ne Phir Itni Sabziyan Fasaayi Ki Aaj Aap
Dekh Skte Ho,
Aalu-Ghobi,
Aalu- Bengan,
Aalu-Shimla Mirch,
Aalu-Palak,
Aalu-Matar,
Aalu-Gajar
Aur Bindhi Us Din Se Aaj Tak Akeli H,
Moral: Mat Kar Itna Gurur Surat Par Ae Haseena.

SON AND PAPA

Son : Papa 10+10 Kine Hunde Ae?
Papa : Ghade, Kanjra , Ullu De Pathe, Nalayak, Haramkhor,
Tenu Kuch Nhi Aunda Ja Andron Calculator Le Ke Aa.

IK SARABI PATI

Ik Sarabi Pati Apni Patni Nu Phone Karda Hai,
Pati: Aaj Main Ghar Nahi Aa Sakda,
Patni: Kyo?
Pati: Meri Car Da Stering Ate Gair Chori Ho Gye Ne,
Thori Der Bad Pati Fir Phone Karda Hai,
Pati : Main Ghar Aa Riha Haa,
Patni: Hune Ta Tusi Mana Karde Pai C,
PatiL O Main Galti Naal Picchli Seet Te Beh Giya C…

SCOOTERY KADO LIANDI

Banta: Sante Aa Tu Nai Scootery Kado Liandi?,
Santa: Yaar Main Ik Kudi To Lift Mangi, O Mainu Kujh Door Leja K Kapde Lah
Ke Kendi Jo Lena Ae Lai Lo…
Banta: Phir Tu Ki Kita,
Santa: Main Scootery Lai Aandi.

MUNDA MITTI KHANDA HAI

Usde Kadam Jithe Jithe Paye,
Assi O Jagah V Chum Layi,
O Bewafa Sadi Mummy Kol Ja K Boli
Aunty Tohada Munda Mitti Khanda Hai…

UNKNOWN CALL

Unknown Call:
He: hey! Hello! Does u have a bf?
SHE: Yes! Who r u?
HE: Tera bhai… ruk kamini ghar ata hun teri dhulai karne.
Another UNKNOWN CALL:
HE: Hello! do u have a BF?
SHE: ohh! no no i dont have.. who r u?
HE: Im ur BF cheat u broke mah heart.
SHE: Oh Darling sorry i thought u r my brother!
HE: Kamini.. Tera bhai hi hu..
Aaj to bas ghar aane ki der hai tu nahi bachegi!

FROGS CHATTING

Frogs Chatting…
Frog 1 -Tur
Frog 2 -TurTur
Frog 1 -TurTurTur
Frog 2-TurTurTurTur
Frog 1-Tur Tur Tur
Frog 2-KUR KUR KUR
Frog1 – Kann Te Marni Main Chaped, Topic Change Na Kar… Tur Tur Tur.. :p

GHAR DI CHAABI

Shunty:rab mainu 1 nottan naal bhariya ghar de de!
Pappu :rab mainu 1 chandi da ghar de de !
Bunty :rab mainu 1 sone da ghar de de !
Pinku :rab mainu en 3na de ghar di chaabi de dyi.....

AASHIQ KHANDAANI

Ik Munda Ik Kudi De Piche Kafi Der Ton Ja Reha Si,
Kudi: Ve Tenu Samaj Nai Aundi, Teri Maut Ae Tenu Ajj Bula Rahi,
Tenu Darr Nai Lagda Meri Bebe Vi Piche-Piche Aa Rahi,
Munda: Assi Aashiq Ha Khandaani, Sade Bajurg Vi Apna farz Nibha RaheNe,
Fikar Na Kar Teri Bebe Piche Sade Bapu Hori Vi Aa Rahe Ne…

AASHIQ KHANDAANI

Ik Munda Ik Kudi De Piche Kafi Der Ton Ja Reha Si,
Kudi: Ve Tenu Samaj Nai Aundi, Teri Maut Ae Tenu Ajj Bula Rahi,
Tenu Darr Nai Lagda Meri Bebe Vi Piche-Piche Aa Rahi,
Munda: Assi Aashiq Ha Khandaani, Sade Bajurg Vi Apna farz Nibha RaheNe,
Fikar Na Kar Teri Bebe Piche Sade Bapu Hori Vi Aa Rahe Ne…

ARE YOU RELAXING?

SANTA ek bar beach par gaya to lok us se push ne lage ki,
ARE YOU RELAXING?
Aur SANTA bola ki NO I AM SANTA.
to SANTE ne dekha ki ek admi ro raha tha to SANTE ne kaha ki,
ARE YOU RELAXING?
Aur admi ne kaha ki YES, I AM RELAXING to SANTE ne jor se
uske gaal par thappad mareya?
aur admi ne kaha ki WHY ARE YOU SLAPING ME?
aur sante ne kaha ki sari beach par lok tujhe dund rehe he aur tu yaha
betha hai?